Tag Archives: wife

WORK AND A GOOD HOT SHOWER

Since the kids were gone today the wife and I did some of our Fall Cleaning (inside the house) and also cleared some land this morning, the remains of which I’ll haul off later with the tractor.

Then we gave each other showers. Which was good. Woman scrubbed me so hard and so well that I kinda feel like I’m sparkling now. Literally sparkling.

Now that’s the way you do it.

Lol…

WHAT THE… WHAT’S GOING ON?!

What it looks like when your wife wakes you up late at night to have sex. Not that I’m not amenable, cause I am (a guy will always trade away sleep for sex), it’s just that she can’t get expect to jump start me like a push mower engine.  I’m not fuel injected either though, I still have a carburetor.

You gotta prime me a little.

I’m middle aged now and you gotta crank the propeller when I’m just waking up and still dead cold. Lol!

 

WOMAN, EAT MY SOUP!

My wife woke up sick with a cold.

So I let her sleep late, did my morning work, did my morning PT and hike, came back and ate my lunch, made her some soup, woke her up and had her eat it.

Then to entertain her as she ate I did an impromptu dance and made up a rap song, ad hoc, just for her. Ladies and gentlemen I give you my latest foray into the rap genre market:

EAT MY SOUP

Eat my soup and you’ll get real bettah
Eat my soup and you’ll get real wettah,
Wettah
Bettah
Wettah
WETTAH!
CAUSE YA GOTTA GET WETTAH IF YOU WANNA GET BETTAH!!!

 

(You see proper hydration is extremely important in recuperating from illnesses and injuries.)

Anyway, she laughed…

HOW RUDE!!!

So early this morning my wife gets up to go to the bathroom.  When she comes back to the bedroom she acts like she’s going to get dressed rather than get back under the covers.

So I pulled the sheets back and told her, “Woman, get your big black butt back in this bed. It’s cold and I wanna cuddle!

She punched me in the stomach (like my daughter often does) and said, “That’s rude!

Well, I don’t like being called rude. So I told her, “Well, I was gonna make you eggs and grits with real honey butter for breakfast, but just for that I’m gonna use margarine instead! Because two can play at this game missy”

Nah, I’m just kidding. I used real honey butter anyway. You gotta keep your woman satisfied. Lol!

 

MEA CULPA

Since my wife was in Columbia this past week I accidentally screwed up and cleaned her car. Inside and out.

Yesterday I picked up my youngest daughter from my parents in it and the first thing she said was, “Wait a second… Is mom’s car clean?

“Why yes,” I replied.  “How did you ever notice?”

“Well, the obvious lack of dirt of course,” she said. “But it also smells so nice.”

“Don’t it though,” I said, smiling inwardly to myself.

Now I guess my wife just has to drive around with a clean car.  At least until two or three days have passed anyway.

My bad…

THE RIGHT WAY

The wife and I spent Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and much of today celebrating and enjoying our wedding anniversary.

It has been a very good marriage and she has been an excellent wife.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BABY!

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