My wife, who is black, has started rolling her hair into tight little “twists.” Now for a long time she has kept her hair in a very short “natural” afro.
(I’m not a big fan of short hair on a woman myself, but I understand that long hair was a lotta trouble for her to maintain, plus she had to put these chemicals in her hair, which neither of us liked, so I suggested she just get it all cut off and keep it short. When she goes out in public, and wants long hair, she just wears a wig.)
Anywho she came walking out of the bathroom the other day and I looked at these “twists” and said to her, “What in God’s name are you doing to your hair?”
So she says to me, “Ha! Culture shocked ya didn’t I! It’s well known that a black woman’s hair grows a lot faster when you twist it up like this.”
(Apparently she wants to start growing her hair long again.)
So I said, “Really, my dear? Is that so? Have you actually tested this idea logically and empirically. Because I’m willing to bet that the rate of growth generated by your hair follicles might not be affected or effected at all just by twisting your hair. Unless you have actual evidence to substantiate your claim it’s probably just an old wive’s tale and you’re probably just making yourself uncomfortable for no real gain.”
To which she replied, “Oh, shut up…”
(Now, why do people always tell me to “shut up” when I ask them if they have empirically tested their theories?)
Well yesterday I cut the grass and hauled some wood, for probably the last time this calendar year (because of the change in seasons), and when I got in from that I took a shower. When I came out of the bathroom instead of combing my hair I just ran a towel through it and headed to the bed.
As I was walking towards the bed my wife began laughing and so I said, “What are you laughing at?”
So she said, “Your hair is sticking straight up off your head. You look so goofy and silly!”
“Oh yeah? ” I said. Then I ran my hand through my hair to make it stick up even more, walked to her side of the bed and almost touched the end of her nose.
A small arc of static blue electricity jumped to her nose and shocked her and she hit me in the gut and said, “Ow! What was that for?”
(She’s a wimp when it comes to pain.)
I laughed, got in bed, snuggled up to her and replied, “That, my dear, was an actual and completely verifiable case of Culture Shock.”